Tear Down

[BlumLaw1]

The day did not end on a bad note. More likely it is better described as being weird. All day, there was not a sound from the hillbillies next door. No "HEY", no horn, no 'Tiny Bubbles', ... nothing. The only horn playing came from myself as I practiced my stadium horn to the disgust of everyone.

The Jesus Will Save Us lady came in to visit. Among the people working the tent at that moment, were approximately five college degrees; three of two of which were advanced and professional degrees. In walks our savior who tells us that she has a book from a woman who was whisked away to visit Heaven and then Hell for 30 days and came back to write of the experiences. Being hot and bored, Amos and I launched into our routine. He took the academic road; challening her every assertion. I took the Jew road and told her what we Jews think of Christianity and all the wonderful things that religion and its followers have done for our world. My favorite part was the discussion of how until Christians came about, there was no such thing as the concept of "hell". But I digress ...

This woman would just not take no for an answer. She would not listen to a single thing said. Nothing phased her. Onward she marched, like a Terminator from God. Blowing my stadium horn in her ear didn't thwart her. She just glanced at me and rolled her devilish eyes as if saying, "oh that Mark". I have this set of light up red devil horns that I wear on my head. Puttng it on while showing her the birthmark on my hand and discussing Chapter 15 of Revelations had no effect. She would not stop, she would not go, she waited patiently while we conducted business and then came right back at us. She was relentless. Only Serendipity saved her from being dispatched to her maker forthwith.

By 8:00 p.m., it was a ghost town. People were still milling about. Vendors were still open. But it was obvious, the gentle giant was taking its last breaths. People were tired and wanted to go home. Not me. Packing started and within a half hour, everything was ready to go and only the shell of the tent remained. We went over 3,100 signatures on the petition; in no small part thanks to me and all my goofiness; including the "HEY, I SEE YOU LOOKING AND SMILING. GET OVER HERE AND SIGN THIS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO." For those who were my critics (Rick, A.E., and the rest ...), remember that the more obnoxious I got, the faster the signatures came in. So blah blah to you ....

Fair rules require us to remain open until 11 and we can be fined $100 a minute for each minute before then that we close. So, the shell stayed open and all the chairs came out front. A huge box of leftover pizza was gotten from our favorite food place and the music was turned on overdrive. People came up and chatted, we sang and we danced, and mostly watched Cajun making out with his 'Fair' catch.

On the last day, Fair Rats avoid each other. Besides being busy because of the mad rush usually associated with the last day and with closing up, it hurts to say "goodbye". You have to keep yourself at a distance and long drawn out sad goodbyes really suck. So we all play this game of emotional russian roulette ... you never know when will be the last time you see somebody. That is, until next year.

Save the hurt; put the world and the friendships on hold for 351 more days, and all will be well again. Though it was tough swallowing it all when just as I was trying sneak away in my truck, Cajun Ragun Ronnie ran over jumped face first through the driver's side window and gave me a huge kiss on the lips. (The boy needs to shave before he does something like that). Of course this morning when I woke up and checked my messages, there was 20 minutes of "HEY!!!!!" on my voicemail left as they headed outta town.

I never got to say goodbye to LadyGalaxy nor have I heard what she thought of my writing. Fair friends elsewhere came and went like a fart in the wind. One "insider" did share a tidbit of unconfirmed rumor ... that the Dinosaur booth at Miller Court grosses more than $1.5 million each Fair. The Plant Lady and her Best of Show friend Gretchen disappared into obscurity. They snuck in and out and not even so much as a whisper "goodbye". And she promised she would. Such is the Fair.

Quickly throwing everything into storage, we all went our separate directions. I was home officially on September 7 and therefore made it. One very long hot and tedious shower later and I finally felt home. Everything I own in the world is filthy and smells mildewed from the Great Flood. I have but two injuries; which for me is a helluva achievement; one 1" gash on my forehead and one badly stubbed toe complete with hanging flesh. The funny part about the toe iinjury is that i was barefoot the entire run of the Fair. It mattered not if it was day or night, hot or cold, rain or shine, I went barefoot. For some reason, you Easterners have a real issue with barefeet; something very natural to us California boys. Without exception, those who confronted me about my footwear all said the same thing .... "there might be glass on the road." Yeah, and so? Anyway, it was a source of pride going the entire time without shoes and without injury. Wouldnt ya know it, the morning of the last day, I stubbed my toe badly in the shower; a place where had I been wearing my cowboy boots, I still would have stubbed my toe.

On the upside though, I still have some of that leftover pizza and each time I take a bite, I am reminded that it is Fair food I am consuming and which is coursing through my veins and hardening my arteries.

And I feel good.

This morning, I couldnt open my eyes. I knew not where I was. After 13 nights on the hard (sometimes soupy) ground, this morning my back ached from sleeping in a big ol comfortable bed. I couldnt walk. I couldnt breathe. Superman had more energy after a Kryptonite shower. I opened my calendar and ... dammit ... i was supposed to be in Monroe County Court this morning. O well, I can only hope the Judge forgives me this sin. Cuz after all, its ... THUH fair.

I hate coming back to the "world". For 13 days I lived in a world of chaos and anarchy. Conventional rules did not apply. Responsibility was minimal and routines, schedules, and obligations did not exist. Today, its back to a world of only rules, combat, hostility, rudeness, and pain. It disgusts me the things I have to do or the people I have to deal with sometimes. But my batteries are recharged and its time to lock and load.

[gwenstephanie]

I feel that same way after having gone camping in the wilds. It's nice to do what you want, when you want and how you want. Then have to come back to this shit world where you whore for money.. whoops did I say that? lol For all the progress in the world, it just tightens the reins on us more and more.